Lessons on Love and Oreos

When Oliver reached 18 months, I knew I was in for it. He reached the "terrible twos" much too early. Honestly, it wasn't all that terrible, but I really had my hands full and seemed to fall apart on a regular basis. I wondered how other moms did it. And how did they do it with more than one if I'm falling apart with one!!?? I told myself every day I wasn't cut out to be Ollie's mom or a mom at all. My solution? Send him to the nanny. Send him to Grandma's. Give him to Daddy the minute he came home from work. He'd throw tantrums when he was with me, but everyone else got this sticky-sweet version of Oliver. I felt so frustrated with him everyday. Looking back, he wasn't terrible at all. Just curious and unable to really communicate all the goings-on in his little brain. There were moments of tenderness, of course. There were moments of overwhelming love. There were moments of pure joy and amazement at how perfect my sweet son is. But those moments were overshadowed by the "work" of it all. I felt tired and pulled in so many directions. I felt inadequate and small when I'd see him "prefer" Alex over me...knowing I, ME, THE MOM, was taking care of him every day.

The past month has been a different story. The morning Oliver turned two something changed. In him, in me...I don't know, but something changed. I thought his good mood and his choosing me to shnuggle with that day was just a fluke...a good day. Sure we'd had those before. But the next day was the same. And then the next and the next and the next. Oliver has become the most pleasant little person to be around. I'm not sure if it came when he started speaking and the communication barrier was broken or if God zapped him in the middle of the night and turned him into my new favorite person. He plays independently for huge chunks of time every day....coming into my office for a quick kiss and to say "lub you Sada mama." (love you Sara mama.) He can sit in the car ALL the way to Target without whining or screaming. In fact, we have fabulous conversations as we drive all over town. He is so warm and tender and loving. He's so gentle with me. While this has always been true about him, I've not always been the recipient of his sweetness. He seemed to save all his kisses for everyone else. Now I get them all day long. He'll give me a hug and then look up at me and grab my face to make sure we're making eye contact and then he'll caress my cheek. It has brought me to tears more than once. I have fallen in love with him in a huge way. There was no part of me that didn't love him before, but there are parts of me that love him so deeply that didn't exhist before. I love my sweet son more than I can describe in words. I look at him and swell with gratitude for the gift that is Oliver. I've learned such incredible lessons since his birth. I am soaking up every moment I have with him. Gone are the days of sending him to the nanny. Suddenly I have balance in my life. My work is flowing perfectly and I have enough hours in the day to fill my soul with creativity AND be his mom. Gone are the days of getting nothing done if Oliver is home. Lately we are a perfect laundry-folding team.

For the past two weeks (thanks to the warm weather) we've been having lunch together outside. It's such a sweet time for us. We sit on a blanket and eat on our favorites. My favorite part of this time is when Oliver has to sit SO close to me. Here we sit on a huge blanket and he parks his little bum right next to mine. Gosh, I love him.

These pictures were from snack time the other day. I grabbed some oreos at Albertsons. I realized on the way home that Oliver had never had oreos and milk! I wasted no time bringing the rest of the groceries in. We ripped open the bag and I showed him the art of dunking, twisting and loving. I think we'll do this again very soon.

Self timer...perfect and candid right?